Okay, so here’s my recipe for the world’s fastest hat. (Some of you may be saying, it takes mere seconds to put a paper bag on my head - so let me clarify and call it the world’s fastest knit hat.

1) Grab a 16″ size 13 circular needle and a big old skein of something BIG. I used Cascade’s “Magnum” but you could just as easily use Brown Sheep Bulky Spun.
2) Use your favorite method to cast on 48 stitches and join ‘em.
3) Rib for an inch or two. Or garter. Or moss. Whatever floats your boat.
4) Just plain knit til the total length is six inches.
5)Put a stitch marker after every eighth stitch. Knit 2 together at the markers every other round for three rounds, then just knit two together all the way up til you have just a few stitches left. (Sorry, bub, you’re going to have to switch to double pointed needles.)
6) Tie off by threading the broken yarn end through the stitches - OR knit them into an I-cord and add a tassel - OR knit some little appendage atop your new hat as you see fit.

Voila! The three hour hat.